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Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

Dinosaurs Sadly Extinct Before Invention Of Bazooka | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

"Over the years, we've learned a great deal about their physiology, their dietary habits, and even their migratory patterns," Diffey said. "Unfortunately, however, nothing in the fossil record can reveal what it would be like to blow apart the massive front leg of a charging diplodocus and then watch it crash violently to the ground, sending a spray of dirt and dinosaur blood several stories into the air."
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Labor Dept: Available Labor Rate Increases To 10.2% | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

The Onion reports that number of hireable Americans continues a robust trend upward, signaling an unprecedented robustness in the market for new workers willing to take jobs beneath their personal dignity and educational level.

If you've never heard of The Onion, I suggest you check out some of their back issues.
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The first is from MAD! magazine.
Daily Scans - Who Watched The Watchmen Movie?

The second is a comic released in the late 1990s, but shares a similar style (the artist does the liner art for MAD. This one takes on the DC universe.
Daily Scans - Sergio Aragones Destroys DC
dracodraconis: (Default)
I was reminded of this joke at lunch today. Read at your own risk (worksafe, but your co-workers may wonder why you're busting a gut).

Cut for length )

January 2010

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